You know, with BPD, you can start off the day in a terrific mood and one tiny comment, nudge or prick can send you plummeting unless you consciously grab a hold of it and smother it. This is my now. Morning was going great, happy, cheery and I made a small mistake to start my work day and I am now feeling that discomfort and weight trying to eat me. I don’t know how you feel, but to me it’s like a dark shadow that creeps up around me and envelopes and I need to run away from it or wash it out before I sink into its gloom. It’s creeping right now, hovering near my shoulders with a dead weight and damn it if I let it keep going. Wish it was like a bug and I could pick it up and squish it with the heel of my foot, smashed, gone, flushed. Stupid thing.
So, Monday morning, here I come, slightly prickled and hopefully, if this is the only moment of the day I can sweep this away by mid day and be sunny again.