borderlinegirlliveshere











{June 6, 2012}   So fucking scared

I’m here. I cried the whole way. I’m terrified. I’m shaking. I wish I wasn’t alone. Now I need to go in. I’m going to fall apart. I can’t be afraid to be weak. I have to be honest. Tell them the truth. I haven’t left the house. I’ve been In bed for days. I haven’t gone to work. Hugh thinks I’m a slut. My mother has a son. My co worker is 8 hours of hell. My medication is fucked up. I don’t know what to do and feel completely condemned by everyone around me for being BPD and no one can understands why I do things or even that I have control and it’s not me. That i have been excellent and when i did fall everything fell. That I feel betrayed that when the shit hit the fan people that said they understood and would help all left. That people do judge and they cannot understand or support because they come first not their words. That I am alone again and I’m a scared. I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to lose my job. I have no where to go. To turn. I am back at the stupid hospital. I’ve hidden all the knives in the house. Ok. I did some cutting. I’m so so bloody sad. I’m still here. No one has come out for me yet. Breathe. Keep writing. Breathe. Triggers. Abandonment. Rejection. StreSs. Pressure. Emotion.

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Sasha says:

Deep breaths. I’m glad you made it to the hospital, and hopefully you’ll feel better when a doctor comes to see you. :]

Something sweet to hopefully cheer you up/calm you down: http://cdn.dailycute.net/2012/5/22/dailycute.net_8564_1339012803.jpg



Sasha thank you so much. Here now.



Sasha says:

Good luck!



You’re in a safe place! Good luck!
xoxo



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