borderlinegirlliveshere











{July 9, 2012}   Into the Wild

I woke up drenched in sweat, night sweats, this morning. So badly so I needed to change not only myself but the sheets. The culprit: work. First day back after a few tumultuous moments and 2 weeks off with no idea what to expect. I normally get night sweats, even if I am not even close to being menopausal, when my emotions are high, normally anxiety or stress, this time likely anxiety. The last time I had it was when I was coming back here last week.
I’m up early, I took an anti anxiety before bed last night, doctor says I take it at night and it works through the day, we will see.
I’m procrastinating now, can’t seem to figure out what to wear, let alone shower. I’m going to have my heart in my throat walking to work, likely lead legs walking to the bus.
I love the unknown, makes me happy to travel somewhere foreign, on the flip side, I hate the unknown when I have no control over it.
Deep breath. Several more. Say to self “you can do this”. Too early to call anyone for a pep talk. Tried to call Amy and Jenni last night, then felt silly, which I know I’m not supposed to feel, so then gave up and figured I could brave this, sweat and all. Aaahhhhh.

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