borderlinegirlliveshere











{July 26, 2012}   Shimmering

ImageIt’s a beautiful day in the city, one of those days that you want to skip joyfully along the sidewalk like you’re in the movies. I did talk a walk, however, I skipped the skipping, I mentally skipped in the sunlight.

I went to a really great yoga practice and meditation on Tuesday, one of my favourite instructors that I love and hate all wrapped into one. His name is Jai and he is very immersed in yoga and at times I can barely make it through his class. We did some very soulful and opening chants at the beginning of the class, where he asked us to take what was inside, focus and cleanse them through our chants to the earth. I had a lot inside that day and I put it all out there. I know this sounds very hippy dippy but yoga and meditation has been one of the best things for my BPD in giving me openness and healing through the practice and if I could I would do it everyday. The practice after meditation was so focused and strong my mind cleared for the entire 90minutes and straight into shivasana, where you bring your body to rest in peace after the practice. 

My point is I am still carrying that peace, it’s shining inside like a glowing orb and I am, I dont even know the words, surprised, confused, elated that through the knocks I’ve had its still there! Work must think there’s something wrong with me, I’ve been Ms Perky all morning, I even bought everyone a round of Starbucks. 

I want to appreciate these times, when my heart and mind are smiling, it feels amazing. We are so challenged with the constant pain and ache we have inside, that days like these, I want to bottle the feeling to drink as an elixir in greyer days. I am shimmering. Remind me of this moment in my dark and stormy days.

I am sending out peace and love to all of you, I hope your day is beautiful.

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