I don’t understand how I am always the shit.
I so wanted to meet up with Hugh last night, he texted me at 11:25pm to meet him. I said good bye to friends, kisses, etc and texted him back at 11:47pm I was grabbing a cab and he pretty much said too late, i blew him off (he waited an hour and a half for me- huh? 47-25= 22 minutes?). I waited wondering if he would text me tell me where he was going and when he didn’t I went home and now I am the dog’s ass feeling like the shit hole who screwed up by wanting to see him.
Yeah, hurt, feel like crud. Trying to breathe, stay in the moment, not let that ugly take hold. Participate and non judge which I just failed at by judging myself as a dog’s ass. Don’t want to see him because its going to hurt but its going to smart for a few anyways regardless and I need to get my car.