{December 7, 2014}   Here I Am, Am I?

Floating through the haze today, that endless buzzing in my ears, the muffled sounds of the world around and the slow, sluggish sensory. Moving underwater wondering, wondering if anyone notices that the world is not right, the lights are too bright, the people so sharp and the sounds a monotone.

The voices, voices, voices, awash in opinions, stringent in negativity. I’ve learned how to kill the sounds for a few moments, but it’s no better standing in a glassy fog of no noise versus the chittering of depression. Neither is a positive outlook.

I’m that robin on a ledge, eyes beading from side to side, wondering, where will I fall.

I don’t know why I am writing this, I feel like crap, I’m not happy and I’m not sure what I am doing or why. If I wasn’t forced to be where I am now, I’d be in a drugged up hole wishing it was time for bed and then wishing I didn’t wake up soaked in stress sweat 3x a night and then actually having to wake up.

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et cetera
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