borderlinegirlliveshere











{December 12, 2014}   Aches and Pains

Last 2 nights sleep has been hard fought. Been trying to get to bed early but not sure I’m getting anymore sleep than when I stay up till 4am and fall asleep exhausted but nightmare free. The sweats I don’t know what to do with, the less sleep, the less sweats, the less time being awake and freezing in a pile of wet and dank clothing.

My mind feels better during the day, enthusiasm is low and there is a bead of dissatisfaction I feel int eh workplace but hopefully it will pass and make work the enjoyable haven it used to be. I’m putting in double the hours now, which without sleeping gives me more time to work but I’m burning the midnight oil trying to keep it up. I am not sure I am being anymore productive than I was but if perception makes people feel better, hallelujah.

Not helping matters, I threw my back out today with the above hours. I hate to admit the age but I can’t stand and bend for 8 hours straight. Trying to do it now 4 days a week, I get home and lay on a pad for an hour before I can bend or even sit for an extended period of time. Fucks me up, pisses me off and just aggravates everything all the more as there are people that can do that but it’s my smiling face they want to see bending and hauling. Fuck off.

5/90, no time, the weather has been bad. Also need to get to a secure line. On back burner and making me antsy.

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