I have been reading regularly about alcohol and verbal abuse and the trend seems to be to start by journaling the occurrences. I think just by nature of this blog I have been, but I think I will start putting the dates in my calendar along with the colourful names I am called and what I am dismissed as. Not what I want to do but I know there is a problem here. I wish I could show him how he is and what he is becoming: this purposeless person who’s a drinking, couch potato, out of shape, angry person that blames everyone but himself, who is convinced that he is in control and can get in control. I can’t help someone that doesn’t think they need help. I’m the punching bag if the topic of his health, weight, state of mind comes up. It’s a whole taboo topic that I avoid with a 10′ pole because “he’s got it under control”and that talking about anything is not possible because it’s my fault we can’t talk because it’s my health issues that cause these problems of his. Then the wine starts flowing and the words start hitting.